An early childhood educator's response to stress.

In my forum here today, I take a break from telling the stories of my own life, and address in a more general way various issues that have to do with early childhood. This is something I wrote for a class I took on building self-esteem in young children. It is written from the perspective of an early childhood educator, and is a discussion of the warning signs of stress in children and what teachers or caregivers can do to respond to a child's stress.

Many things cause stress in life. As adults, work, relationships, money, and the time crunches we all experience can cause stress. In my own life, some of the things that help relieve stress are getting out in nature, walking or biking, playing with my kids (unless they are the ones causing my stress!), getting involved in a hobby (mine’s scrapbooking), reading a good book, or calling a friend.

Many kinds of things, large and small, can cause stress in a child’s life. Stress can be caused by death or serious illness in the family, divorce or custody changes, moving (across town or around the world), getting a new sibling, family money troubles, parents arguing a lot, being bullied, learning a new language, having a learning disability or developmental delay, being abused (mentally, physically, sexually), witnessing abuse of another, not having the “right” clothes, being excluded, feeling shy, not knowing new routines, a parent leaving for a business trip, toilet training, a friend moving away, or many other reasons. A child experiencing stress may become withdrawn, act aggressive, seem depressed, have toilet accidents (when previously able to stay dry), regress to babyish behavior, be unusually clingy or whiny, cry more easily than usual, act overly silly, be quick to anger or take offense, be unable to sit still, or want to hide. It seems to me that any uncharacteristic behavior may be a sign of stress (a quiet child who suddenly gets loud, or a loud child who suddenly acts very quiet, for example).

Appropriate ways of helping a child experiencing stress would depend on the nature and severity of the stress, and on the personality of the child. Showing caring and empathy would be a beginning. Listening to the child and really letting the child feel heard and cared about is important. Books can help introduce uncomfortable subjects, and let a child know that s/he is not the only one to experience a particular situation. Dramatic play can be a “safe” way to explore feelings—playing a character, or having a puppet speak, may allow children to say things they are uncomfortable expressing as themselves. In some cases, a child may be experiencing a level of stress that warrants professional help, and in those cases, the family may need to be referred to the appropriate agency or professional (using the utmost confidentiality and tact, of course). In some cases art may help express difficult feelings, and other children may need active outdoor play to “blow off steam” when they are feeling stress. Some children may need extra hugs and nurturing, or to be given a classroom job to feel important and needed. Structure and routine may be very comforting to a child experiencing upheaval in their home life. In short, the response must be tailored to the child. We may not always even know what is causing the stress, but we can provide a safe haven in the classroom where they can experience a brief respite.